Tactical Condoms

In case you get luck on Labor Day (or any day), you may consider these. Maybe she won’t see you coming.

Full specs:

Unknown caliber, muzzle velocity or chamber pressure (may vary with user, to include blank munitions – which might seem counterintuitive, but you never know).

Manufacturer advises this force multiplying weapon accessory comes ready lubricated in a “clear classic shape”, manufactured of latex rather than traditional 500d or 1000d nylon. Equipped with a water based lubricant ‘parallel0sided, N-9 free’ and is transparent (i.e. clear latex) in color. Only the package is camouflaged; the symbolism may in fact lie on several levels. Each has been electronically tested to conform to ISO9002, EN46002 and CE0120. Flat width 53mm, length 180mm, reservoir is 15m.

As with any equipment there is at least some potential for failure; users are encouraged to have secondary and even tertiary contingency plans prepared in lieu of canceling the operation. Should canceling all operation become prudent, users are encouraged to conduct a thorough solo AAR later in a secure location.

You can purchase them here or in other fine locations you’ll have to get off your ass and search for yourself.

Stay safe out there brothers! Whether you’re hunting muj, single dancing moms or dope dealers on the street. Stay safe.

Knife hand the world - join us on our mission

Mad Duo, Breach-Bang& CLEAR!

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Swingin' Dick

Richard "Swingin' Dick" Kilgore is half of the most storied celebrity action figure team in the world (and the half that doesn't prefer BBWs). He believes in American Exceptionalism, America, holding the door for any woman (lady or whore) and the idea that you should be held accountable for what comes out of your fucking mouth. Swingin' Dick has been a warrior gyrovague for many years now and is, apparently, impossible to kill -- he once had a complete body transplant after an IED hit the gun truck in which he was riding. True story, one of the Cav guys mailed his head and arm home. Swingin' Dick comes from a long line of soldiers and LEOs (his Great Uncle commanded an Air Cav battalion in Vietnam and his many times removed great grandfather was one of the few original Burt Mossman era Arizona Rangers). Swingin' Dick detests Joy Behar and Chris Matthews almost as much as he enjoys traveling the world to crush crime vice and evil. He believes the opportunity to lead eeeelight team of Breach Bang Clear minions is the most improbably awesome thing an action figure has ever done and he's immensely proud of his perfect hair. Loyalty and respect should start from the top down.


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