New Year’s Resolution: Time for Mentoring

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Know what time it is? Time for mentoring. We could write a doctoral thesis on what’s wrong with the youth of today, but it wouldn’t actually be what’s wrong with them. It’s what’s wrong for them. You can’t emasculate a society, fail in the provision of guidance, neglect to lead by example, and then expect our young people to perform. Know what we need to do more, and better? Mentor. This year we’re going to make an effort to talk to the country’s youth — Stafford the War Gawd will be starting it out in proper obstreperous Stafford style.  

Grunts: obstreperous.

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In this day and age, and especially in the warrior culture, it has practically become an official pastime to bitch and moan about the “Millennials”. Now, teaching at the Police Academy, I can attest that there is indeed some truth to the bitching and moaning, but I’m also here to tell you that if we want it fixed, it’s up to us.

It’s time to stop bitching and start working.

Main mother-effing mentor Reeder and I were talking about this recently in regards not just to our own families but also the young impressionables within our own sphere of influence. We think it’s time for this movement to gather steam within our little slice of gun/warrior culture heaven here at Breach-Bang-Clear. The question is, how do we include content that is interesting to these youngsters (who are obviously already on the web and social media) without diluting our current focus and quality?

This is not a rhetorical question.

Jeremy Stafford Breach-Bang-Clear Time to Mentor

Luckily, I already spend a couple hours a week working with teens and pre-teens, teaching them fighting and self-defense. I also have an aspiring super-soldier eating out of my fridge and sleeping under my roof, so I had a pretty good little test group to bounce ideas off. Because many of them follow me on my Instagram and Facebook, they were already aware of Breach-Bang-Clear and what we do on the site, so I wasn’t surprised that our irreverent tone resonated with them. Digging further though, I found that these kids really wanted to be able to accomplish things to really feel like they belong to, for lack of a better word, our culture.

These kids want to be challenged, they want to achieve, they want to excel. We just have to give them the path. I think that we do a pretty damn good job here at B-B-C keeping things relevant but fun but don’t be surprised to see an occasional movie or video game review mixed in, because that’s how we’re going to reach these kids. Besides, even you crusty old fucks like going to action movies and most of you had video games on deployment. Reeder was the Pong champion back in his day! [Note: this is a base canard…I played Air-Sea Battle or Canyon Bomber. DR]

On the personal side, I’ve always pushed my son athletically and academically, but I actually have it pretty easy. When Jack was in the fifth grade and his teacher asked him what he wanted to do when he grew up, he answered “face shoot Hajis”. The look on the teachers face remains one of my fondest memories. The kid knows what he wants to do, but I really took to his training with renewed focus after talking with Reeder about what we could do to help the generation. Besides football and Track, he also competes in Spartan Races and local IDPA matches. Next month he’s going to rock a carbine match. We work out together, shoot together, and most importantly, we talk.

We work out together, shoot together, and most importantly, we talk.
Jack barbed wire
Jack Spartan

I let him know what I expect and I let him know what men expect. I let him know that I don’t care about excuses and that if he ever wants to gain the respect of men that matter in this world, he won’t use them. This year I’m going to start to do a better job of making him read real books, not the crap he brings home from school.

Maybe we’ll start with Pressfield’s “Gates of Fire”.

Daryl Holland Reeder’s kids


But that’s not enough. There are more kids out there I can reach, influence and mentor, and not just the boys. We need to reach out to girls too; boys need to know what a man should be, but girls need warrior skills, self-confidence and patriotism just as much. My 2016 New Year’s resolution doesn’t have anything to do with me; it has to do with them. Give it a try. Even if it’s just one kid that you influence, maybe he influences two, and so on and so on. Before you know it, there are a dozen men that you’ve helped mold, and/or a half score strong-willed young women who are neither vapid nor weak.

Before you know it, there are a dozen men that you’ve helped mold, and/or a half score strong-willed young women who are neither vapid nor weak.
Reeder on the range with nephews and several of their friends.

Look around at this country that we love; are you happy with the direction that the boys are being pushed? Fuck no, and I’m not either. It’s time to push back. Join us here at B-B-C in mentoring this next generation of prospective face shooters, door kickers, and most importantly, good fucking Americans.

Let us know what we can do on our end — you all double down and work from yours.

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Jeremy Stafford

Jeremy Stafford is a truculent old school LEO and a combat veteran of the Marine Corps. He has just one beady eye (the right), a single shriveled testicle (the left) and is rumored to be the adopted son of Burt and Heather Gummer. Probably only part of that's true, but really, does it matter? Jeremy has been serving with the Los Angeles Police Department for nearly 20 years, both on the road, in specialty assignments, and occasionally to the sound of the T.J. Hooker soundtrack. He recently left a position as a senior instructor at the LAPD Firearms and Tactics Division to a different assignment that is more hunting than fishing. He's a Krav Maga instructor, a court recognized firearm and use of force SME, and is likely the guy responsible for those few times you see some Hollywood type actually handling a gun correctly. Jeremy has written for a number of publications (like SureFire's Combat Tactics Magazine) and is one of the main reasons we started reading Guns & Ammo again. The other is Mudge. Stafford teaches for the SureFire Institute, mentors local youth (including kids doing the Spartan Race) and he runs many courses himself - think marathons, Tough Mudders and assorted other needless exercises in self-flagellation. Connect with him on Instagram if you're up for it (and don't require trigger warnings): @jestafford.

Jeremy Stafford has 16 posts and counting. See all posts by Jeremy Stafford

6 thoughts on “New Year’s Resolution: Time for Mentoring

  • Pingback:Ask a Frogman - What if there's no combat option? | Breach Bang Clear

  • January 4, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    Great article, you asked for some feedback so I hope the following helps:

    What I note about people my age and younger is that for the most part their parents are self-adsorbed idiots, totally clueless or complete assholes.

    What most of these kids have for role models are either people who don’t give a crap what the kids do and hand them gobs of money or their parents are total shitbirds that don’t give a crap and don’t give the kids anything at all let alone some of the parent’s precious time. Either way, the kids don’t get much in the way of direction.

    Then there’s the education system. Major Dick Winters was absolutely correct that having a strong mind comes from constant education as well as a sound body.

    Suffice to say our school system doesn’t provide a “Dick Winters” type of education.

    So rather than continuing to bitch here, I hope I’ve given you at least a small window into how many, many kids are being raised these days. Now, I’ll give you a few suggestions for how to mentor these kids effectively, which first requires reaching them.

    1) Don’t be a dick.

    2) Understand that inside most of them is a strong, rational person yearning to break free of the bullshit they’ve been subjected to, they just need the proper outlet and guidance.

    3) While you have much wisdom to impart, spend most of your time listening at first.

    What in many cases seems on the surface to be bitching and moaning about inconsequential things is really them trying to find a way to ask you a question but not appear to be a pussy when doing it. (Rare is the kid that’s going to say “My teacher told me this and it sounds like nonsense, is my teacher completely full of shit?” until they know you pretty well.) When meeting someone such as the one of the Mad Duo, they’re often a bit scared and try to puff themselves up. Let them do it and then get comfortable with you. Then the real conversations can begin.

    Best of Luck and a Happy New Year!

    • January 5, 2016 at 10:00 am

      Thanks for the excellent feedback! I completely agree that the most common (but not only reason) root cause for shitty kids is shitty parenting and that the best way to get the kids to learn is to listen first.

      Thanks again for reading and giving feedback.


      • January 14, 2016 at 3:09 am

        Thanks for your kind reply.

        I could have gone further, but didn’t figure anyone wanted to read it.

        Clearly, shitty parenting is not the only reason for shitty kids, but I would say that it is #1. The current schools are #2 since they basically reinforce shitty parenting and in some cases go out of their way to prevent good parenting and #3 is shitty other kids which are usually the the result of #1 and #2.

        I am the way I am (a BB&C reader for example) because my parents didn’t play this bullshit. Pure and simple. I was taught from a young age that excuses are bullshit and when there’s a job to be done you do it right or you don’t do it at all. People engaged in halfassery need not apply.

        Both my parents held jobs where if they fucked up, they died and probably a lot of other people died with them. Incompetence and laziness were unacceptable. If you can’t do the job you tell people you can’t, other than that, you do the job and don’t bitch.

        Those lessons brought me rather far in life but in my experience are rather rare, at least in terms of coming from parents rather than a DI.

  • January 3, 2016 at 9:45 am

    Let’s be real, today’s entire generation needs a primer on adulthood and a general lesson on how not to be an asshole.

    Thank you for recognizing and articulating the fact that young ladies need strong character development as well. I’ve seen too many “6 ways to Teach your son to be a man, the Navy SEAL way” (or some variation there of) which all generally espouse great content, but fail to recognize that most of their points apply equally to young ladies who are continually fed a subliminal message of weakness and dependence.

    (Grunts: articulating, espouse, subliminal.)

    What? Did you expect a link? I don’t work here, look that shit up yourself!!!

  • January 2, 2016 at 11:46 am

    We need more messages like this. In the real world not everyone gets a trophy and there are clear winners and losers. However, I am a little concerned that Reeder was that close to children.


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