OSBWGOK: The Mad Duo’s Institute for Lexiphanic Studies

Five dollar words (5 dollar words or $5 words) are encouraged around here!
March 12, 2025  
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Welcome to the world’s most prestigious institution of higher learning and tactical sesquipedalian studies, also known as the Online School of Big Words for Grunts and Other Knuckledraggers (or OSBWGOK, if you prefer the very handy acronym). Ya see, Breach-Bang-Clear doesn’t just allow the use of five-dollar words. We encourage it. 

Here, we know words there’s probably no reason to know. Here, we pursue lexiphanic excellence, longiloquence, and pleionosis.  Here, we not only eschew Mark Twain’s advice, but we actively work counter to it. Fact is, if there were fifty-dollar words, we’d use those! 

Grunts: Lexiphanic. lex·​i·​phan·​ic | \ ¦leksə¦fanik \

Lexiphanic is the trait of somebody who uses bombastic or pretentious language. It apparently comes from the title of a dialogue that was composed by the Greek writer Lucian of Samosata (first century AD). See also redondite, bombastic, pretentious, and sesquipedalian (all excellent words in their own right!)

Pleionosis is the habit of exaggerating one’s own importance. 

Longiloquence is the action or habit of speaking at great or excessive length, usually unnecessarily. 

Words mean things! It’s very important to understand them. Crucial even. All you have to do is look at some of the images in this article to understand why this is so! 

beautiful blonde pursuing lexiphanic studies; five dollar words are often discouraged, but not at Breach-Bang-Clear
You’re in trouble if she’s a narratophile and you’re an illiterate wretch. Five dollar words (5 dollar words if you’re simple) are important, mand not just when you’re talking to some smokeshow who knows how to read.   Photo by Loren Cutler

Now.  If you are reading this article (which was first published at 15h64 Zulu Time) on April 23rd1 of any year, take a moment to wish William Shakespeare a happy birthday!

On to the Sciolism! 

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Be the one to recognize kindness: and practice it yourself.

“Don’t use a five dollar word when a fifty cent one will do. ” 

~ Mark Twain

(Sorry, Mark. No can do.)

Cognoscenti

co·gno·scen·ti  /ˌkänyəˈSHentē,ˌkäɡnəˈSHentē/

The cognoscenti are big brain types. People who have superior knowledge,  are especially well informed (about a particular subject), or have a particularly in depth understanding of a specific something-or-the-other. This is an important word to master if you want to grasp the nuances of, say, mystery ranch backpacks.

Gamahuche

/ˈɡæməhuːʃ/

From the late 18th century; to perform oral sex, especially cunnilingus. Sources vary on whether this is a verb or a noun, but who cares, we’ve already spent more time on this than we should have. 

Histrionic

You’ll want to know this when you read our SIG P320 review.

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Incalescent

\ in-​kə-​ˈle-​sᵊnt \

Being in a state of incalescence. Increasing in heat or ardor.

Limitrophe

Five dollar words (or 5 dollar words) are important, and not just when you're talking to some smokeshow who knows how to read.
The look she gives you when you don’t understand gamahuche or “tipping the velvet” (in the Victorian sense). Photo by Szabolcs Toth. 

Lascivious

las·civ·i·ous  /ləˈsivēəs/

 (of a person, manner, or gesture) feeling or revealing an overt and often offensive sexual desire. See also libidinous, licentious, lewd, and lustful. Both our callipygian and bathykolpian articles are arguably lascivious (or perhaps salacious). 

Multiloquent

This is pretty much a required word (and quality) to have if you’re going to read stuff by Aaron Cowan.

Noctivigant

noc·​tiv·​a·​gant \ (ˈ)näk¦tivə̇gənt \

Going about in the nightnight-wandering. See also, nocturnal. 

 

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Predilection

pre·di·lec·tion /ˌpredlˈekSH(ə)n,ˌprēdlˈekSH(ə)n/

(Noun) A preference or special liking for something; a bias in favor of something. i.e., My predilection for MRE #2 Maple Sausage with Old Crow to wash it down. 

Prodigious

(Adjective) Impressively or remarkably noteworthy or great in extent, size, or degree. Used in a sentence, The curvy redhead had a prodigious bosom. 

Proselytize 

You may be forgiven if you believe that’s what we’re doing when talking about the SIG P320. We’re not.

Salacious

sa·la·cious   /səˈlāSHəs/

(Adjective) Salacious indicates or conveys an inappropriate, undue, or unseemly interest in sexual matters.

Sciolism

sci·​o·​lism   \ˈsī-ə-ˌli-zəm \

A superficial show of scholarship, pretentious in attitude.

Sciuridae

Sci·​uri·​dae| \ -rəˌdē \

The family name for sciuromorph rodents: like squirrels. It is important to know this word if you’re going to watch a squirrel video or wear a Secret Squirrel shirt.

Trionym 

It’s our chosen method of talking about good tactical pen options.

Whereof

If you know this word, you’ll know whereof Kim speaks in her Trijicon Accupoint review. 

1 See what we did there?

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Mad Duo

Mad Duo

About the Author

The Mad Duo are the most renowned, scholarly, door-kickingest action figures since...well, ever. They, their wretched minions and other abject flunkies are an improbable (and awesome) tale unto themselves. Read more about them here.

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