Deadly Wieners – Stop Frankfurter-Related Deaths

Assault wieners – they’re out there. Dozens of people choke every year on hot dogs, coneys, wieners and assorted other sausage-like foods. Hot dogs can be particularly dangerous if not chewed, and among the most dangerous are assault wieners. According to the CDC, for every choking-related fatality there are 100 visits to an Emergency Room – even single dancing moms can be a victim, if they have too sensitive a gag reflex. 

Stop the madness. Ban assault weiners now. There is no reason these frankfurters are are so readily available to the public.


We don’t know who took this picture, but whomever did ought to get the Presidential Medal of Freedom.


Mad Duo, Breach-Bang-Clear!

Swingin' Dick

Richard "Swingin' Dick" Kilgore is half of the most storied celebrity action figure team in the world (and the half that doesn't prefer BBWs). He believes in American Exceptionalism, America, holding the door for any woman (lady or whore) and the idea that you should be held accountable for what comes out of your fucking mouth. Swingin' Dick has been a warrior gyrovague for many years now and is, apparently, impossible to kill -- he once had a complete body transplant after an IED hit the gun truck in which he was riding. True story, one of the Cav guys mailed his head and arm home. Swingin' Dick comes from a long line of soldiers and LEOs (his Great Uncle commanded an Air Cav battalion in Vietnam and his many times removed great grandfather was one of the few original Burt Mossman era Arizona Rangers). Swingin' Dick detests Joy Behar and Chris Matthews almost as much as he enjoys traveling the world to crush crime vice and evil. He believes the opportunity to lead eeeelight team of Breach Bang Clear minions is the most improbably awesome thing an action figure has ever done and he's immensely proud of his perfect hair. Loyalty and respect should start from the top down.

Swingin' Dick has 183 posts and counting. See all posts by Swingin' Dick

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *