The Men Who Stare At Goat Guns

Goat Guns Golden AK-47 assembled
| May 31, 2021
| 1 Comments
Categories: Guns
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Here at Breach-Bang-Clear, we are no stranger to scaled-in-size things.  Hell, we get bossed around by two 12″ tall action figures on the regular. We have known about Goat Guns miniature guns for a while now but the Duo demanded we get a few to see what is what. We’ll be upfront—if you buy them from links here, we will get some money we are going to use to give some of these cool miniatures to our Patreon supporters.

Goat Guns AK-47 in box

The Goat Guns AK-47 is a model kit that involves no gluing and comes with everything to build it in the package. The tiny screwdriver even comes with a magnet to attach to the side so you don’t drop the little screws which was a nice addition.

We got a gold AK-47 because everyone needs a trophy AK-47 on their desk. I mean if Saddam Hussein, the cartels, and anyone with way more money than me can have a real gold AK-47 on their shelf why cant I have a tiny fake one on mine.

Goat Guns Gold AK-47

When you open the box you are greeted with a molded tray displaying all the parts proudly along with keeping them where they need to be. A few of the smaller parts like the bullets are taped down so they don’t end up floating in the bottom of the box or worse getting lost.

They do a really impressive job with all the little parts. Some of the rifle even goes together a bit like a real AK-47. They could have made it entirely go together like a real gun but the small parts would have made the price unobtainable for the average person and a few of the parts would be super fragile.

toy Gold AK-47 receiver

Some of the small details of the build are really impressive. The receiver has the tangs out the back for attaching the stock. The handguards, while not being wood, have a pretty good wood look and are even held in by the retainers.

Not to mention all the moving parts they have in 1:3 scale (that the Duo don’t get being 1:6 scale). So far on the AK the selector, magazine release, rear sight, and trigger move.  The elevation adjustment on the rear sight doesn’t work, however, it is just hinged at the front. The cleaning rod is the hardest part of the entire AK-47 build and it’s not difficult—just requires a bit more effort than the other parts.

toy golden AK-47 bolt carrier

The bolt/carriers of all Goat Guns we have checked out so far cycle to the rear which is a fun little detail. When you pull them to the rear you can see the rounds in the magazine just like a real firearm. The only difference is the bolt won’t load a round into the chamber like on a real firearm. This goes back to the complexity and cost of making parts that small.

The recoil spring and guide fit in just like the real gun and the bolt moves although there is no piston assembly attached. Still super cool and since it is metal it makes a nice clink.

Goat Guns Golden AK-47 assembled

You have to admit as the mini rifle is built up all the small details they include for realism really end up adding to the overall desk appeal of this little guy. I mean what do you want some silly macaroni art project from your kid or a golden AK. Ok, I guess the desk is big enough for both.

The top cover actually uses the button on the spring guide which we thought was nice to see. A large part of this gun is actually made from metal giving it a nice feel in the hand.

Goat Guns golden AK-47 magazine

Speaking of all the small details the stamped and folded magazine is a tiny work of art. The magazine follower and spring actually work and loading the three included brass rounds in was a breeze. I kind of want to get some more rounds for it just because three is never enough.

The magazine actually works and the rifle comes with 3 little brass bullets. Don’t fear you can get more on the Goat Guns website along with many other accessories like a golden drum mag.

toy golden AK-47 display

The stand that comes with the Golden AK-47 uses the hollow in the pistol grip to display your little rifle upright. All that’s missing is a 1:3 scale vodka bottle and an Ushanka hat next to it to really complete the picture.

As you can see the magazine actually locks in using the magazine release and it comes with a pretty cool stand to help you display your new mini rifle.  Why not piss off your anti-gun coworker with one of these on your desk.  Or just have fun spending a few minutes building one of these. Melissa got one too and she was really excited to build one for her desk at work.  More on that one later.  For now, if this or other small guns might tickle your fancy check out Goat Guns and see what other cool stuff that they have in stock.

Goat Guns “Goldilocked” Gold AK47

What you see in the pics above is the gold AK 47 I’m assembling here at the Breach-Bang-Clear Thyle ultima (-ish) farthest north outpost.

MINIATURE GOLD AK47 MODEL

NICKNAMED ‘GOLDILOCKED’ | 1:3 SCALE GOLD AK-47 MODEL

Rich. Sweet. Coated in carats. 1947 just got a Golden makeover by Sgt. Gunner. Hands down the most famous of all time, the Avtomat Kalashnikova produced in 1947 has been all around the world and now into your hands as an 11″ model.

SPECS (manufacturer provided):

Custom-made Gold AK47 miniature model. Some parts are interchangeable, such as adding a suppressor on the barrel. Here is your chance to get the favorite item in FPS video games; the Gold AK.

  • Coated in Pure Gold paint + wood grain acrylic plastic
  • Bolt cycles
  • Magazine with functioning release

SIZE AND COLOR

  • This Gold bad boy is a full 11″ in length when assembled. It is 1:3 Scale size (28cm) of a normal AK. It is gold painted on die cast metal with wood plastic grain stock and handles. Goldilocked weighs in at 12 ounces.

GETTING STARTED

  • Assembly is required. Expect 5 to 15 minutes, instructions are provided.

 

 

 

 

This is another one of our attempts to make obscure references, bury Easter eggs in our articles, and in general, make people — especially the grunts — shake their heads at our pedantic and pretentious sciolism. In this case, we’re referring to ultima Thule in the early, early almost-mythological sense. Like how it’s used in Isidore of Seville’s Etymologies, or better yet, the way Virgil meant it in Georgics. 

But you probably already knew that.

Thyle ultima is an island of the Ocean in the northwestern region, beyond Britannia, taking its name from the sun, because there the sun makes its summer solstice, and there is no daylight beyond (ultra) this. Hence its sea is sluggish and frozen. Isidore of Seville 

Grunts: sciolism

By a route obscure and lonely,
Haunted by ill angels only,
Where an Eidolon, named Night,
On a black throne reigns upright.
I have reached these lands but newly
From an ultimate dim Thule –
From a wild weird clime, that lieth, sublime,
Out of Space – out of Time.

Edgar Allan Poe

..concilia, incertum est, urbisne invisere, Caesar,
terrarumque velis curam et te maximus orbis
auctorem frugum tempestatumque potentem
accipiat, cingens materna tempora myrto,
an deus inmensi venias maris ac tua nautae
30numina sola colant, tibi serviat ultima Thule…

Publius Vergilius Maro 

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1 Comment

  1. Jeep

    That’s a nice office accessory.

    The guys at GoatGuns should realize that this is an AK74, not an AK47 though.

    Reply

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