This will be the first in a series of post-SHOT articles from our minions, and it’s coincidentally the first from Big Joe Neuroth. Please forgive the shambolic nature of his reporting — combining SHOT Show coverage with a thorough creeping at the AVN Awards is an exhausting endeavor. Mad Duo
Photography by SEEING RED‘s Taylor Lange.
Propper has a hella lotta new stuff going on, including boots and armor. First, however, a rant.
See, there was another show in Vegas last week besides the AVN Awards — the NSSF SHOT Show 2016. While not as compelling as the AVNs, we did spend a lot of time at SHOT. Naturally, we weren’t’ just checking out not just the newest in tactical gear and firearms, but also these mysterious, often vapid but visually striking creatures called booth babes. At one point I was
lurking in the shadows standing in an aisle trying to catch a particularly bosomy booth babe in her natural habitat when I got hit with one of those douchebags hauling a pull-behind cart. He was prob’ly hustling to a booth to get some free stickers or something, I don’t know, but the fat bastard knocked me on my ass. I think maybe the cart had spikes out to the sides like they used to put on chariots. If it hadn’t been for the nice, soft carpet at the Propper booth I no shit could have been killed.
Death to cart pullers. Next year we’re putting a bounty on them.
Actually, Hernandez only wrote 3 of these. We included the other one to be ethnically inappropriate.
But I digress. Propper had a huge booth with a ton of products this year but a few, in particular, stood out. We’ll give you an overview of those and then follow up with additional information and actual reviews in the coming months. First: BOOTS man, BOOTS! Propper has finally released their new boots (we wrote about them last year) and they’re AR 670-1 compliant. That means they are approved to wear in the military. They have a great price point, come with proprietary inserts that allow a customized fit, and are offered in a waterproof version. Mark my words, the inserts are going to be a big deal when wearers realize how specifically they can dial in the fit.
They’ve also released new pants called the STL III. They looked super comfy, and the booth staff had to fight them away from Slim because he kept rubbing his face on them (I guess they’re soft like a bunny). They have a DWR finish so water will bead off, and look super stretchy.
Along with the pants Propper released a Uniform Polo. It’s made for working stiffs (*snicker* working stiffs) who need a good durable polo for work at a price that leaves a little money for the dancing moms after work. The new uniform polo is available up to size 5XL (which is like, Gregor Clegane sized) at no extra cost.
Lastly and perhaps most significantly, Propper’s rocket surgeons were also showing off a new line of armor. It has some pretty unique features that may have people talking, especially the Four Panel Vest. It’s NIJ Level II or IIIA and provides stab protection – this is good news whether you’re On The Job or if you, like Swingin’ Dick, are at risk of being shanked by tranny hookers.
Anyway, we’ll probably need to do a whole article about the new Propper armor, there’s too much to do it justice here.
More to follow.
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