Just what is a "Pew Professional"?

pew professional
| March 8, 2014
Categories: Assorted Ramblings

So we’re pow-wowing with our friend Mat the other day and he’s in a Pew Professional shirt from Article 15 Clothing. (Mat’s the guy behind the “How to be an Operator” and “How to Work Out Like an Operator” videos you’ve probably seen.) The conversation goes quickly sideways and begin discussing the definitions of various “shooter” words: operator, doorkicker, pipe-hitter, trigger-puller, etc. We couldn’t decide on  what a Pew Professional is though. Is it someone who gets paid to go Pew Pew Pew? Someone who handles their firearm with proficiency and panache? Someone who knows what panache means?

After much confabulation and discourse (not intercourse) we decided to let you guys decide. The best 3 definitions (chosen at the discretion of a scurrilous crew of miscreants currently gathered at Ft. Bliss) will receive a Pew Professional shirt from Article 15 Clothing.

Grunts: scurrilous.


You have to post your definition on THIS page, in the comment section. No definition posted on Facebook or elsewhere counts. It must be in the comments below.

Your reasoning and definition do not necessarily require a syllogism (grunts: syllogism). Hell, they don’t even have to be cogent – but they do have to be entertaining, thought provoking or in some wise noteworthy.


Meantime, if you want to buy one, you can get your Pew Professional shirt here. Keep up with Mat Best on his YouTube Channel.

Speaking of which, check out the video below.


  1. Sean Mehegan

    Professional Evacuator of Wankers

  2. Itchy

    Someone who can “pew pew pew” (shoot) mother f*****s, in the middle of pew (sh**) and then go sit on a pew (in church), with no remorse, because he’s a PEW Professional (bamf)… and then logs off of Call of Duty and back to reality?

  3. B-Nasty

    Pew = 5.56; Bang = 7.62; Boom = 12.7… Pew Professional = 5.56 Pro

  4. Rasch

    Philanthropic Erotica Watching

  5. Scar

    I just noticed something. The dude in the video likes Jameson. Anybody who likes Jameson is damned outright OK in my book!

  6. Scar

    Ever see Bravo Two Zero? Remember when one of the SAS troop shit in his little black bag and decided it would be cool to stick it in the Bergen of one of the other guys? That was real PEW! And a flair of Panache.

  7. Spalding

    PEW: Personal Erection Weaponry. ‘Fix Bayonets’!!

  8. Sopow

    PEW. Proctology Empowered Warrior = Badass!!!!

    Thank you all for having a sense of humor in extreme times.

    Son of Expow.

  9. Hyder124

    “PEW”, the sound one makes when pretending to be a bad ass

    operator. Most often demonstrated with out stretched arms and hands in the form

    of a weak ass pistol.

    • Guy


  10. Dumanhieu Turboshok

    Pew, Pew, Pew, Professional Enlightenment Warrior

  11. T_D_Fish

    A “Pew” is a seat in Church.

    Any given HZ could be the Church for those trained and skilled in the art of war, SOPs, ROEs and various manuals.

    When one is successful in sending a tango to meet his personal deity whilst in his “pew” in “church” and inasmuch as he relinquished his amateur status by accepting a pay check, said operator may be thusly considered a “Pew Professional”


  12. Z

    That Sometime In Your Life Someone Thought Of You As Competent Enough To Be Handed A Firearm And That Your Paycheck Is Based Partly On Your Ability To Show Proficiency With That Firearm. A Gun-Totter.

  13. Cam

    Operators get sent into the shit often. Shit smells, hence the pew. Operators are Pew Professionals. (Experts at dealing with shit)

    • Guy



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