We’ve been fans of Death Valley Magazine for a long time, and why wouldn’t we be? Who wouldn’t love a site that runs articles with such names as Survival Mindset: Dealing with Fuckups and Infidel Shirts are Fucking Stupid? DVM recently published an article entitled Making Bacon In Full Kit and it is brilliant – so we’re sharing it. It’s basically a primer on how to set up your kit for the first time so you don’t find out the embarrassing way (like, when assholes are shooting at you) that you’ve got it dicked up or bought the wrong stuff.

Two weeks later I got a big ass box that puked out the entire Blackhawk! catalog onto my hooch floor in the IZ. After putting every pouch I bought on my super cool SWAT vest I pretty much ended up looking like a Coyote Tan Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. My kit was also so poorly placed I could not even scratch my junk. I ended up fighting my kit on every mission for the next two weeks until I adjusted everything.

Lots of good advice in this article, including how to compare it to civilian world equivalents:

“-Please do not take out the garbage or pick up your newspaper while wearing your kit.

It will freak your neighbors out and scare children. Also having to constantly take on and off your gear will let you know if the way you set up all of the pouches and shit interferes with getting your kit on and off smoothly…Constantly taking your kit on and off all day long is something you will do if you are ever in a situation where you have to wear full kit for an extended period of time. Tape down or move around stuff until putting it on and off is as easy as putting on your Members Only Jacket before hitting the clubs…”

Do yourself a favor and read the whole article right here.