Dank Robber, it’s one helluva name. It grabbed my attention, and as someone who enjoys minimalist chest rigs, I was intrigued by the cool name. A little American company called Unobtanium Gear produces this chest rig for those who need something a little lower profile than average. It’s simple, no extra MOLLE gear, no panels, no placards, nothing like that.
Rolling Light with the Dank Robber Chest Rig
In fact, if they cut anything off the Dank Robber, there wouldn’t be much left. Unobtanium Gear produces the Dank Robber to be as efficient as possible. This mini chest rig would be easily concealable beneath a jacket, windbreaker, or tactical hipster-approved flannel. Even fully loaded, we aren’t creating much of a footprint beneath a concealment garment.
Speaking of load-outs, the kit can hold three rifle-type magazines, three pistol or sub-gun magazines, and two side panels have room for all manner of goodies. From radios to TQs, the side pouches can hold a good deal of whatever. I packed a tourniquet in one, and a multitool pouch with a SOG Baton, a Streamlight Wedge, and SOG Instinct fixed blade. At the bottom sit two elastic bands that accommodate a TQ or similar small item.
Excuse me for not concealing it because it’s August in Florida, and I’m not strapping on a jacket. I’m already sweating my dick off. Speaking of, a big reason why I love the Dank Robber is that it’s not like wearing a sweater. It gives me room to breathe and keeps things cool in this 100% humidity and 95-degree temperatures.
At the range, I practice reloads with both the pistol and rifle pouches. I will say running 21 round magazines might have been a mistake. These taller-than-average magazines got in the way a bit when I went for my rifle mags. Not so much to block a reload, just enough to shrink my grip on the rifle mags.
The good news about the pistol magazines being taller is that they were easier to grab, so it’s a take-it or leave-it scenario. Passive retention from the tight ass elastic holds the magazines in place. They sit nice and deep in the pouches and don’t pop out when a little stress is applied.
The tighter retention doesn’t create issues when I try and draw the magazines and spin them into action. To make sure you can draw against the tighter elastic, make sure you fit the Dank Robber to your body. It needs to be nice and tight, and if you have any slack, you’ll feel the chest rig pull as you reach for your magazine.
Adjustments are made easy with the rear straps. Tighten, fit, tighten, and repeat until it’s snug. The two rear straps provide plenty of support and make it easy to wear the 90 rounds of 5.56 and 63 rounds of 9mm, plus the weight of my goodies. The strap never dug in or caused discomfort under whatever weight I tossed at it.
Another comfort factor is that tight fit. This keeps the chest rig from jumping around and causing chafing and pain. The triglides at the back also allow you to double back and lock the straps down without a problem. Once adjusted and fit, I never had the rig slip and require readjustment.
Minimalist kits aren’t often associated with comfort, but the Dank Robber doesn’t pinch my ass too hard. It’s one of the best AR15 kits I’ve ever rocked. The Dank Robber from Unobtanium Gear provides shooters with an outstanding minimalist kit capable of carrying just enough ammo and gear to hit the ground running. Load, fit, don it, and forget it.
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