Primitive War: Jurassic Jungle Sh!t Show

When you're fighting dinosaurs in 1968 Vietnam, you should never get out of the boat.

November 17, 2025

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It’s Platoon meets the Paleozoic…actually, that’s not true, cuz there weren’t any dinosaurs in that era, but I was going for a second round of alliteration after Jurassic Jungle. Regardless, it’s a movie called Primitive War, and it answers that age-old question: how many M16 rounds (or 40 mike-mikes) does it take to drop a T. rex?

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

It’s high-stakes military action in the deepest, jungle-filled valley of Vietnam. American soldiers come up against something far worse than VC sappers or PAVN Mainforce soldiers…they’re pitted against all the deadliest tropes of military monster movies. The plot.

That’s right, this recon unit (it’s apparently an LRRP team) has to suffer through all the tropes, and not just dino-fodder. Lost comms, feckless leadership, bad intel, PTSD, Green Berets that’re vanished as Manny, Soviet advisors, a hot (enemy) female scientist, sacrificial last stands with grenades…you get the idea.

On the plus side, it might have a pretty good soundtrack.

The film, which is based on a series of novels by Ethan Pettus, stars a number of people I’ve never heard of (and two I have), but I’m sure they’re all gifted actors. Otherwise, why would they be in a blockbuster flick like this?!? One of the two I recognize used to be a murderous robot: Ms. Tricia Helfer herself (which is awesome, ‘cuz she’s kind of a smokeshow even when she’s killing fleeing Colonists).

Tricia Helfer plays a Russian scientist-lady working with Soviet advisors in Vietnam in the Primitive War movie. — No fight in Vietnam would be complete without Soviet advisors; no monster movie is complete without a scientist. This gal is both.

Note: She’s wearing a white blouse in the jungle, where it rains a lot. But she’s got an OD tank top underneath, so don’t get your hopes up.

But I digress.

The movie description is pretty straightforward:

Vietnam. 1968. A recon unit known as Vulture Squad is sent to an isolated jungle valley to uncover the fate of a missing Green Beret platoon. They soon discover they are not alone and must face the most terrifying creatures to ever walk the earth.

A special operations officer (or perhaps intel guy) holding an enormous raptor claw found in the Vietnamese jungle. — This guy has raptor troubles. And not just *Veloci*raptors, but *Utah*raptors. (Which are – or were – a real thing.)

Will Tiger Stripe cammies hide you from a ~~Velociraptor~~ Utahraptor? Can the door-gunner on your Huey take down a Pterodactyl? Why are experienced Recondos walking through the jungle at night with their TL-122s on?

Watch the Primitive War movie and find out.

Spoiler alert: “Never get out of the boat.”