Today you’re gonna meet Patti Miller, one of the most awesome females in the firearm industry. Imagine a tall, hawt, dangerous Laura Ingalls Wilder with cool hair and a suppressed blaster and you’ll have an idea who we’re talking about. Mad Duo
Meet the Minions: Patti Miller Uncovered
Patti, please stand and introduce yourself to the class.
Everyone meet Patti Miller. Some of you may know her. She has been in and around this industry for some time now. If you don’t know her, you’re missing out. She likes dark beer, carries a Glock 43, is a great photographer plus an adventuress with serious wanderlust, and someone who is fun as hell to hang out with. I once saw her work an entire SHOT Show while super pregnant, without hitting anyone in the face.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is the apex of professionalism and patience.
See, Patti had the distinct pleasure of working with me from 2013 until 2015 while at GEMTECH Silencers…or maybe I had the distinct pleasure of working with her. It’s debatable.
Anyway. That time together has given me valuable insight and allowed me to produce this introductory piece for all of you.
As with most of us around Breach Bang Clear, our “official” duties are unclear and at times a bit complex. Patti’s are no different. When I broached the subject with her about what she would be doing in service to our beloved website, her initial response was confusion. It was as though she didn’t even know she’d been recruited.
After a few texts and phone calls for clarification she eventually replied,
“I’ll be helping the Breach-Bang-Clear crew with a handful of tasks. Currently I’m handling some News Desk items, newsletters, a little of their ‘JTF Awesome’ stuff, and behind the scene type things with strategic planning and brand management. I’ll also be helping with the website, and I gather I’m also going to be responsible for liaising with some of the other publications they work with behind the scenes…?”
All of that sounds pretty suspicious to me, though it’s certain she’ll class the place up. Perhaps our newest member is planning a hostile takeover from the Mad Duo. Time will tell.
In the meantime, we think it best for our cherished readers to get to know the woman who may just be the newest member of the staff. I mean, who is feeding you this propaganda anyways?
Patti Miller is a good friend of mine. As I mentioned, she worked for GEMTECH from late 2007 until 2015. While there she performed several different functions, everything from shipping product and running the entire warehouse to writing press releases, managing social media, procurement, e-commerce, and assisting with numerous other aspects of marketing. Since leaving GEMTECH Patti influenced several other areas of the firearms industry, including work with a widely respected firearms attorney and consulting with manufacturers and media outlets.
Before the firearms industry, Patti lived and worked in Washington State. She has adamantly (and frequently) stated she is not “a dirty hippie.” However I challenge you to read the following and come up with your own opinion: while in Washington Patti worked for the National Park Service.
While with the NPS she worked closely with visitors to help everyone enjoy our National Parks. That’s at least partly hippie-ish. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she wore hemp sandals. Then again, she also drove a Prius with a Bush/Cheney sticker on it to fuck with her coworkers, and they had beer tasting after the VP learned how insightful she is when it comes to that topic. Another sign of her competence, she was promoted 3 times in just a year and a half, her first one just a month or so after she was hired.
After NPS she went on on to work with the Idaho State Police, so, maybe she’s being truthful about the hippie thing.
We want you know Patti as a person and not just the person behind the scenes at Breach Bang Clear, either. I’m going to give you some insight into Patti’s inner workings and try not to make it sound like an online dating profile.
Obviously the most important thing to know is that her favorite colors are royal purple and brick red, but she does not like them “mixed together.” Her favorite food, should any of you find the occasion to take her to dinner, is beer braised short ribs, and she has superb taste in bourbon, so don’t show your ass when ordering a drink.
I have a few fond memories from my time working with the ineffable Mrs. Miller. One that comes to mind is while we were driving to the range for a photo shoot. We were talking about gardening and things of the like and she stated her dream was to become an ultimate pioneer woman. Now if you know Patti, visions of her wearing a buckskin coat and beaver pelts is a bit of stretch, but that was my first thought. No, she meant she wanted to grow her own food, raise her own livestock, butcher her own meat, etc. Patti’s dream was to be on her homestead raising her family and teaching them real values about nature and self-sufficiency.
Fast forward several years and Patti is doing that very thing on The Miller Homestead.
That homestead is currently home to a small but impressive orchard of various fruit trees and numerous fruit bushes. The garden has doubled in size over the past year and is currently over 400 square feet. Her top producers are carrots, beets, and Brussels sprouts. We do live in Idaho, so as you can guess she also grows potatoes. With so much food production, Patti has taken to learning skill sets such as canning and preserving. Maybe she and I can team up and come up with some monthly gardening tips for our loyal readers. When I talked to Patti she simply had this to say about The Miller Homestead “I do pride myself on being a sturdy prairie woman.”
It’s a mastery of these and other uncommon, even outré skills that make her a perfect for Breach-Bang-Clear, where it’s as important to think as it is to shoot and esoteric abilities are admired.
Although no one here will admit it formally, you have to be a nerd to work here. In fact, the head nerd, David Reeder, is scary nerdy. He starts talking about some weird Game of Thrones canon and I just can’t keep up. Luckily for us, Patti is a bookworm. She is currently starting book four in Game of Thrones to keep up with Reeder’s late night whiskey fueled Facebook rants.
Things like that will likely be written into her job description at some point.
We are happy to have Patti as part of the team and we think you should be too. Join us in welcoming our new Brand Manager.
You can follow Patti in Instagram @everything_miller.
Send all GoT spoilers and whiskey recommendations to [email protected].
Learn more about her, and the entire staff, here on the
wretched minion and abject flunky page About Us page.
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Mad Duo, Breach-Bang& CLEAR!
Emergency: Activate firefly, deploy green (or brown) star cluster, get your wank sock out of your ruck and stand by ’til we come get you.
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About the Author: Alexander Crown was the littlest big mistake GEMTECH ever hired–and they even manage to continue to promote him to higher positions. Prior to his early retirement (caused by an enemy winning a marksmanship award at the cost of his hamstring), Alexander served in the 3/509 PIR out of Ft. Richardson and spent a little time in Iraq. In addition to dabbling in the world of silencers and science fiction, he has a BS in biology and is an avid gardener — like, the kind of gardener Hugh Farnham would appreciate and Alec Holland would envy.