Tactical Kilts: Scruffy Wallace calls Out 5.11

The Tactical Duty Kilt…Remember last year’s April Fool’s joke from 5.11? If you don’t recall, they released a video for a Tactical Duty Kilt (TDK) that went viral, then everyone wanted them to go ahead and produce one. It was a pretty big deal. Definitely set the standard for tactical April Foolery. In any case, the original impetus (grunts: impetus) to mass produce the TDK sort of waned, then a lot of people forgot about it.

Not Scruffy Wallace though. In fact, once you get some popskull down his throat he won’t shut up about it. We were Skyping with some of the band before they rolled out for Australia and the subject came up again.  (Note, important safety tip – don’t video chat with Wallace, or for that matter any drunken Celt, when he’s been drinking if he’s in a kilt, you’ll see tattoos in places that will make you want to gouge your eyes out.) In any case, he got to brooding about it and now he’s thrown down the gauntlet and called 5.11 Tactical out. In fact, not only did he call them out, he specifically called Tom Davin out – on video – and sent it to us.

Note: if you don’t know who Scruffy Wallace is, that means you’ve never listened to the Dropkick Murphys. If that is the case, fix it now or go wash your mouth out with buckshot. If you don’t know Tom Davin, well, that’s more forgiveable. Maybe even understandable. Tom is the CEO of 5.11 Tactical, an obsessive a dedicated health and fitness nut, graduate of Duke (which apparently is a university somewhere, and oh my Lord do we get tired of hearing about his alma mater). He is a former Marine infantry officer, which is one of his redeeming qualities and though few people know it he also acts as the front man for a band that covers old Barry White tunes. If you’ve ever heard him speak you know why.

Interestingly, Tom also spent one season as the voice of Guy Smiley. But we digress.

Here’s what Scruffy had to say:

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So here’s the bottom line, Davin. We’re with our boy Wallace, and according to the text messages we’ve been getting so is Kyle Lamb. WTAF? Are we going to see some Tactical Duty Kilts or what? You man enough to hit the range with Scruffy and Kyle in a kilt? You going to make this happen or you gonna sulk and sniffle at home like you did after Rhoden put you out in dodgeball?

(Oooh, that was offsides, wasn’t it? Tonight he’ll cry himself to sleep… on his huge pillow!)

So if you’re reading this and you think Davin needs to gather his testicular fortitude and do this thing, head over now to the 5.11 Tactical Facebook page and tell them you want to see him on the range with Scruffy Wallace. Tell them you want to see the kilt in full production…and of course tell them Breach-Bang-Clear sent you.

https://www.facebook.com/511Tactical

Here’s the original story, if you missed it last year: http://soldiersystems.net/2012/04/01/the-5-11-tactical-duty-kilt/

Oh, and ALCON, keep this in mind – if you need a reason to listen to the Dropkick Murphys besides their kickass music, don’t forget -every time someone listens to the Warrior’s Code or the Spicy McHaggis Jig, somewhere a hippie dies.

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Mad Duo, Breach-Bang-CLEAR!

Join us on Facebook if you’re not skeert. No sissies, hippies, pinko commies, fans of Keith Olbermann or anyone who can tolerate Bill Maher need apply.

Swingin' Dick

Richard "Swingin' Dick" Kilgore is half of the most storied celebrity action figure team in the world (and the half that doesn't prefer BBWs). He believes in American Exceptionalism, America, holding the door for any woman (lady or whore) and the idea that you should be held accountable for what comes out of your fucking mouth. Swingin' Dick has been a warrior gyrovague for many years now and is, apparently, impossible to kill -- he once had a complete body transplant after an IED hit the gun truck in which he was riding. True story, one of the Cav guys mailed his head and arm home. Swingin' Dick comes from a long line of soldiers and LEOs (his Great Uncle commanded an Air Cav battalion in Vietnam and his many times removed great grandfather was one of the few original Burt Mossman era Arizona Rangers). Swingin' Dick detests Joy Behar and Chris Matthews almost as much as he enjoys traveling the world to crush crime vice and evil. He believes the opportunity to lead eeeelight team of Breach Bang Clear minions is the most improbably awesome thing an action figure has ever done and he's immensely proud of his perfect hair. Loyalty and respect should start from the top down.


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