Our Newest Contributor is a Tactical Gawd: Jeremy Stafford

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Deities_&_Demigods_(front_cover,_first_edition) (1)We’ve just brought aboard our first tactical gawd (you’ll need to pronounce it that way or it doesn’t work). Even his street creds have street cred. His level of badass is so legit, he’s been officially categorized as divine by nerd rulemongers across the country. The largest police agency on the West Coast is currently his playground (a far cry from the sandbox he grew up in). Help us welcome our newest minion, Tactical Gawd Jeremy Stafford. Mad Duo

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Stafford’s extensive mil/LE time comes in at a total of 32 years. He’s been keeping shitheads in check longer than some of our other assiduous minions have been weaned from the tit.

Grunts: assiduous

Note: Several of our minions refuse to be weaned, we’re sure you understand the struggle.

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When we heard Stafford wanted to be part of our plan to take over the world, we couldn’t say no. To be honest, we were scared to. We weren’t sure of the repercussions. Since he’s an accomplished gunfighter and a black belt in Krav Maga and clearly capable of regional domination, we knew we had to add him. Otherwise he’d go all ninjee-kung-fu-mortal combat fatality, do some Matrix-Neo-slow motion bullet bending sorcery on us or just become a dominating asset somewhere else. None of those were acceptable options. So we took him. Truth is, we actually begged him to be one with us, he just finally conceded cause he couldn’t block enough of our email addresses to hide.

Adding to our ever-growing list of AFMs, Stafford is Another Fucking Marine and a long time LEO who has worked a wide variety of assignments (including many shitty ones). He has deployed on several all-inclusive trips to Iraq, Southeast Asia, and the Horn of Africa where he struck fear into the hearts of extremist malefactors while simultaneously earning the respect and envy of anyone who ever wanted to sport a Magnum PI style battlestache. He attends obstacle races like the Tough Mudder and Spartan Beast voluntarily, mentors local youth, loves Capt. America and causes ass pain in the self-righteous tactical crowd with reckless abandon. More to the point, Jeremy loves to fight, fuck,  eat red meat and drink whiskey. What’s not to like about that?

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Note: AFM is a venerated term around here. We added an Army Ranger and we’re about to add an AF EOD tech, so we figured we were due for an AFM.

Grunts: venerate

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To take his experience to the next level and remain practiced, Stafford takes as many classes as he teaches (did we mention he’s an instructor at the Surefire Institute?). He instructs a wide array of courses related to shooting, low light tactics, counter terrorism, and Krav Maga. His ability to instruct comes through clearly in his writing, as anyone who has ever read the Surefire Combat Annual, Combat Arms,  Trigger, Guns & Ammo, the Book of the AR15 or the Book of the AK47  will attest. We think he’ll fit in well at Breach-Bang-Clear thanks to his quick wit, sarcastic undertones, and mind-in-the-gutter way of life.

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Jeremy Stafford LAPD 1
Ah, the halcyon days of yore.

Watch for Jeremy’s diatribes here or follow him on Instagram, @jestafford.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, yes we’re making fun of him more than a little bit.

Mad Duo, Breach-BangCLEAR!

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7 thoughts on “Our Newest Contributor is a Tactical Gawd: Jeremy Stafford

  • September 27, 2015 at 10:31 pm
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    Wait a damn minute… You’re making fun of me? And what’s the matter with my man-boobs? This is intolerable! After I’m done feasting on the livestock of my slain enemies and washing it down with the tears of their widows, I might write a strongly worded email to the editor.

  • September 25, 2015 at 9:43 am
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    That’s great now show me the ass and titts.

    • September 25, 2015 at 10:32 am
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      Josh, for the record, Jeremy does have a great ass but it seems a little weird that you’d want to see it. His tits, not so great, and they’re hairy too. However we’re here to help so if you’re bound and determined to get a better look at them we’ll tell Stafford.

  • September 24, 2015 at 9:33 am
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    Does Jeremy know what crap is being displayed on the same page as his picture? I’d be pissed if it was me…!!!

    • September 24, 2015 at 1:59 pm
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      To which crap do you refer George?

    • September 24, 2015 at 2:11 pm
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      Lighten up Francis.

  • September 24, 2015 at 7:59 am
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    I keep clicking on this empty white box expecting to see more boobies, what gives?

Comments are closed.