Scattergun, Scatterwit Joe Biden Gives Us the Lowdown on Home Defense

“Shotgun Joe” Biden, also known as “Scatterwit Joe”, one of this country’s foremost authorites on weapon manipulation, ballistics and most importantly legal precedent with regards to deadly force encounters, has issued sage advice for home owners defending their residence – to wit, to out on the balcony and cut loose with a couple blasts. Now, we’re not sure exactly where the line is crossed from defensive to offensive. Presumably a 12- or 20-gauge double barrell shottie is okay for defense, but when you switch to 10-gauge, or use HUCK (Hypersonic Unnecessarily Critical) buckshot…well, then you stray into the realm of ‘assault weapon’ and must be damn careful. You musn’t come across as being too predatory, even if someone is breaking into your home. They may just be misunderstood.

This is insightfullly insightful, tacticall tactical insight is no doubt a great relief for women (because remember, as Carolyn McCarthy reminds us, rifles are far harder to use than AR15s, which is why you should stick to a shotgun).

In any case, luckily for Breach-Bang-Clear readers, the staff at Ares Gear has put together a de facto training guide for defensive random 12-gauge balcony shooting. Because it’s approved by VPOTUS, and typical legal need to identify your target, aim the weapon or account for backdrop is pretty much just legal mumbo-jumbo. Here’s Trek from Ares Gear with a couple of demonstrative images. The Biden videos, for those of you who want to use them when you are sued, are below.

Note: as the operator in this picture can tell you, double barrel shotguns (particularly the ones with an assault sidesaddle rig for additional massacre shells) are as effective on giant man-eating spiders as they are on the more typical two-legged residential intruders.

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The Biden Institute for Tactical Edumacaton (BITE) recommends you purchase a very short-barreled weapon, preferably with a saw-ed off handle.

 

 

Mad Duo, Breach-Bang-CLEAR!

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