Rest in Peace Eve Torres

August 17, 2012  
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Categories: Assorted Ramblings
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If you haven't been following the news, it appears that the entire cast of the NBC reality series Stars Earn Stripes have been killed. According to the Duffel Blog, all of the remaining contestants, as well as the astonishingly Mr. Burns-like retired General Wesley "I Could've Been a Contender" Clark, were Killed In Action during during their final event. The premise of the show had 'celebrities' teamed up with real world operators (strangely called operatives) to compete in vaguely military SOF type missions to raise money for charity. General Clark, previously know as an unsuccessful Presidential candidate and for his frequent appearances advertising Levitra, was also killed in the tragic TIC. Read the story in its entirety.Among the killed: Eve Torres, that one really big black guy from the Expendables, Sarah Palin's husband, Muhammad Ali's daughter and some guy that used to sing.

Rest in peace. You will probably be missed.

 

Swingin' Dick

Swingin' Dick

About the Author

Richard "Swingin' Dick" Kilgore is half of the most storied celebrity action figure team in the world (and the half that doesn't prefer BBWs). He believes in American Exceptionalism, America, holding the door for any woman (lady or whore) and the idea that you should be held accountable for what comes out of your fucking mouth. Swingin' Dick has been a warrior gyrovague for many years now and is, apparently, impossible to kill -- he once had a complete body transplant after an IED hit the gun truck in which he was riding. True story, one of the Cav guys mailed his head and arm home. Swingin' Dick comes from a long line of soldiers and LEOs (his Great Uncle commanded an Air Cav battalion in Vietnam and his many times removed great grandfather was one of the few original Burt Mossman era Arizona Rangers). Swingin' Dick detests Joy Behar and Chris Matthews almost as much as he enjoys traveling the world to crush crime vice and evil. He believes the opportunity to lead eeeelight team of Breach Bang Clear minions is the most improbably awesome thing an action figure has ever done and he's immensely proud of his perfect hair. Loyalty and respect should start from the top down.

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