Tactical Tuesday: Suburban Warfighting

Hello, and happy Tactical Tuesday! Today we’re going to share something from Dave Merrill, an instructor at MilCopp Tactical LLC. It was posted originally over at M4Carbine.net and we thought it was so brilliantly erudite, so chock-full of tactical perspicacity, we just had to share it. It’s just brilliant.

Swingin’ Dick

Threats surround us everyday. As psychopaths and gangs of lunatics and uniformed Nazi-like girls selling cookies encroach into even the once-comfortable suburbs we have to take more and more precautions. This post is to remind us of the dangers we face each and everyday. For example: Getting the mail.

 

I’m only wearing a low-pro carrier with only a half-dozen mags instead of my plate carrier with more because I was only going to the mailbox. If I were going to take a trip to Target or Toys R’ Us I would have certainly donned the plate carrier. I only go to Walmart when I have a QRF. But I digress. Notice keeping your head on a swivel instead of getting tunnel vision and focusing on the mail itself. It’s always important to constantly scan for threats and keep your situational awareness up so you are not caught with your pants down

CONTACT!

You probably can’t tell just by looking at the picture but I am moving at blinding speed. Stationary targets are dead targets! Look for a solid piece of cover and get out of the open.

Success. The Barbie© 4-wheeler will have to do. Notice the placement of my feet (that extra 10” of plastic may make the difference!).

 

In order to get good shots off I have transitioned to my support side shoulder to get as low as possible (since I’m on my left side)

Getting back into your house is the biggest priority because then you have access to more firearms and ammunition.

 

I need to install some level 5 glass-clad polycarbonate for increased protection.

If the local threat gets too bad, it might be time to bug-out. Sitting in the drivers seat is just a good way to get shot (that’s why you have your wife drive). Instead, get into a solid suburban roll-over prone in the back.

In this position, since I have the ejection port cover facing the deck I’ve placed my support hand under the forend of the weapon to ensure ground clearance.

I understand that for some, wearing the semi-overt rig shown isn’t always practical. Therefore, let me show you a more low-profile kit, suitable for playing in the backyard with the children. It goes without saying that soft armor under the shirt is obligatory.

It’s very low-pro because everyone knows that Coyote tan is the new black.

All of the essentials. Diapers, wet wipes, butt goo—you name it. However, when bad guys come around to sling crack and sell heroin you have a surprise.

 

It’s been said that your fastest reload is another pistol. Bearing this in mine, I have three fastest reloads at the ready.

I hope this post makes you rethink your neighborhood strategy.

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Swingin' Dick

Richard "Swingin' Dick" Kilgore is half of the most storied celebrity action figure team in the world (and the half that doesn't prefer BBWs). He believes in American Exceptionalism, America, holding the door for any woman (lady or whore) and the idea that you should be held accountable for what comes out of your fucking mouth. Swingin' Dick has been a warrior gyrovague for many years now and is, apparently, impossible to kill -- he once had a complete body transplant after an IED hit the gun truck in which he was riding. True story, one of the Cav guys mailed his head and arm home. Swingin' Dick comes from a long line of soldiers and LEOs (his Great Uncle commanded an Air Cav battalion in Vietnam and his many times removed great grandfather was one of the few original Burt Mossman era Arizona Rangers). Swingin' Dick detests Joy Behar and Chris Matthews almost as much as he enjoys traveling the world to crush crime vice and evil. He believes the opportunity to lead eeeelight team of Breach Bang Clear minions is the most improbably awesome thing an action figure has ever done and he's immensely proud of his perfect hair. Loyalty and respect should start from the top down.


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