Possible fuc&ery?

Remember Chris Heben, the former Navy SEAL (you can tell he was a SEAL by the awesome hair) who was reportedly “shot by black guys in a parking lot and chased after them”, subsequently receiving much adulation for his response? The guy who occasionally refers to himself in the third person and posts all sorts of motarded stuff? He’s a motivational speaker, does commercials, is a guest on various news shows as an SME, is the voice of the Under Armor “Ridge Reaper” tv show and is also a borderline narcissist. (Note: the latter isn’t necessarily a Bad Thing – we’re utterly certain we’re pretty wonderful too, so we’re not inclined to begrudge a man some self-congratulatory press). Fact is, depending on who you talk to, this guy is either a genuine, certified American badass, SEAL Team 8’s own Billy Mays or some weird mixture of both.

Apparently he’s being accused of making the whole thing up.

Christopher Heben

In addition to spending time on his ‘Rise Up Against ISIS’ campaign (“Brought to you by Michael the Archangel: the Patron Saint of Ass-Kickery!”), he’s now dealing with being charged with falsifying a police report and obstruction. To with, he has been charged with making up the whole ‘getting shot in a parking lot by black guys’ thing. Not actually getting shot, that’s not in dispute. Just the how of it.

The link is here on an Ohio news station.

Now, we’re all about due process, so we’re not going to jump to conclusions, but that sure sounds strange. Why make something like that up (if he did)? Could be a great marketing ploy, could be it was a cover because he was attacked by North Korean ninjas while in the service of a Special Mission Unit no one has heard of.

Christopher Heben 3

We really hope this turns out to be a misunderstanding rather than an incident of fuckery. He did serve his country and he’s done many good things. Alas, former military service, even in an “elite” unit, is no guarantee of an individual’s quality of character so we’ll just have to wait and see what the investigation concludes (and what his side of the story is once he tells it). If police allegations turn out to be true, well, hey, at least he’s not partnered up with someone named Erika teaching tactics and firearms.

Breach Bang Clear bang patch 1
Breach Bang Clear loot and plunder. knifehandtheworld.com

Here’s the original story about the shooting, which Heben advises took place in some parking lot deep in the Ohio wilderness. Heben says he was shot and then chased after them with his finger in the wound before seeking help.

http://misguidedchildren.com/justice/2014/04/retired-seal-shot-in-stomach-in-parking-lot-gives-chase/18695

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Hopefully soon we can report that it was all a misunderstanding. We’ll see. Meantime, get yourself all motivated right here on the CMH Facebook page.

Mad Duo Over

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