Recently the home of Frito pie fine dining, and our stoic Breach-Bang-Clear editor David Reeder has come into the spotlight over hoodies. That’s right, Oklahoma has announced a possible ban on the popular hooded sweatshirts, commonly called “hoodies.” A proposed bill would make it a fineable crime if you are caught wearing your hood up on the Sooner state’s streets. Concerned citizens are raising their hackles, as some view the possible ban as a gross overstep. The state actually has a long standing ban on wearing hoods, first presented in the 1920’s as a means of thwarting the KKK. But now the revision will restrict fans of the hood from obscuring their face when out in public, save a few allowances for religious garments, weather protection, safety or medical purposes, parades, Halloween celebrations, masquerade parties, “minstrel troupes,” (WTF is that?) circuses, sporting groups, mascots or “other amusements or dramatic shows.” Hanging out on a park bench in 70 degree weather with your hood up will likely earn you a $500 ticket.
The state feels the ban will help reduce crime, but the critics feel differently. We can see both sides of this argument, and frankly am intrigued to see how it works out for the citizens living in Texas’s hat. Having given this whole thing some thought, we’ve arrived at some conclusions regarding hoodies.
Regardless of your location, job, race, religion or climate, wearing a hoodie is perfectly fine. When we see people walking around with a hood worn down, we barely even notice. However, when people walk around with their hood up, it will gain our attention almost immediately. When worn indoors, such as a restaurant, mall or movie theater, it gains even more notice. The same is true when a hoodie enthusiast sports the hood up on a particularly warm day, walks around schools or sits on the front curb of a gas station. Why is this? Hoodies don’t exactly make instant bad-guys out of people, in fact just about everyone in America owns one. We’re fans ourselves, and will often wear them to run errands, hit the range or help conceal a full size blaster on a chilly day. We’re [mostly] not bad guys, but then again it’s rare that the hood is ever up; that’s what watch-caps and beanies are for. We are guilty of going hood-up on rainy days and when caught unprepared in the winter wind. It’s certainly an interesting notion that wearing your hoodie as intended could somehow transform you into an evil villain, ready to rob, rape and murder the second it’s donned! On that note, we explored why people are scared of the garment. There might be some deep rooted subconscious association we’re not fully aware of–sort of how suppressors are foolishly perceived by many non-shooters as only being useful to assassins, due to bad Hollywood films. We’ve examined this further by looking at these hood-wearing individuals randomly collected below. Hopefully you can draw your own conclusion.
The Good, The Bad, The Hooded.
Who is known for being a “hoodiephyle”?
–Sith lord Darth Sidious
–Our friend Jesus
-The Queen of England
-The Grim Reaper
-The guy we buy crack from
-Most people getting shot in front of 7/11’s
-Kenny from “South Park “
-“Free candy” van guy
-90% of police sketches
-The list goes on.
Mad Duo, Breach-Bang& CLEAR!
Emergency: Activate firefly, deploy green (or brown) star cluster, get your wank sock out of your ruck and stand by ’til we come get you.