Video Borescope – Modern day Mirror on a bayonet?
Everyone remembers the beach landing scene in “Saving Private Ryan” when Tom Hanks sticks a mirror on a bayonet with some good ole’ fashioned American bubble gum so he can spot the Nazi machine gun nest. Why did Captain Miller do this? Because unlike so many damn officers out there now, he was smart. He was leading from the front, making split second decisions and trying to close with & destroy. Adapt n’ Overcome! Right? One problem with war that’s never going to go away is the ongoing struggle to avoid getting shot in the face. It sucks, and should be avoided at all costs. That’s my policy anyway. I do the face shooting around here (ask the girls down at the driftwood, they’ll tell ya!), not some punk ass goat fucker that doesn’t even understand what the word “defilade” means.
Anyway, there are lots of tricks used by grunts, snipers, snake-eaters, spooks and tier uno bad-asses to avoid acquiring a ventilated grape. Among these are periscopes, shaving/ signal mirrors, cameras on auto focus over walls and thru loopholes (murder holes), dummy field- expedient heads used to draw fire and pin point enemy snipers, you know the drill. I’ve even used a dental mirror kept tucked in my MOLLE webbing to turkey-peak around street and room corners while being an All Merican’ Ninja in Hadji-land. All pretty low-tech, right?
What’s one thing just about every 18-85 year old has on them these days, civvie or Mil? A damn fancy smart phone, that’s what Now here is the thing – that little mobile phone rarely gets left behind, even on deployment. You know it’s true, even in those places with more burn shitters and piss tubes than cell towers. Why? It’s got all those pictures you downloaded of Nikki Benz doing AMAZING work, your playlists of workout/running/killin’/ evading vehicle pursuit music…ballistic calculators, shot timers, hell its even got the MRE break down App so you can Ratfuck a case faster to find your favorite chow (true story).
Stateside it’s used to document all kinds of off duty debauchery, locate breweries, and cheat on Land Nav with google maps. It’s more then just a magic pornography machine and its practically indispensible these days. It can even make phone calls! (Candy, if you are reading this baby Im soooo sorry. I’ll call you soon, I promise. Tell Mercedes, Krystal and Roxy I miss them too. You girls were great about the whole “mix up” in the VIP lounge.)
So you fanboys and gals out there can guess how excited I was when I found this little gem online the other night. The Oasis Scientific made Vividia Borescope. It’s a friggin flexible snake camera for the IPHONE! Yeah, it’s an attachment for the phone that allows you to deploy a 3ft cable to see in small places, around corners, over walls, anywhere! No more worries about catching a lead pill to the dome while snoopin’ and poopin’! It adjusts focus from mere centimeters to infinity, has a 60 degree field of view and a four hour battery to help power your phone.
The cable camera is slim enough to push thru cracks and under doorways so you can do some serious sneaky ass shit. Like, Snake from Metal Gear Solid, Rainbow-6, Airborne Willie and Jason Borne Type Ninja craft.
I can think of numerous times my boys and me could have used this little devil overseas. Hell, It even would have in handy during spring break down in Panama city! (note: “stalking” is only acceptable if you are low crawling in a ghillie suit, doing mission recon, or hunting a AQ Skell in dirka-dirkastan – so use this Kit for good, not moral wrong you creepshow!) Regardless, check them out and think about how it can help keep your own team and jock ass alive. I’m definitely gonna pick one up, and when I do I’ll be sure to give you kids a through review. Till then, stay safe and keep some bubble gum handy.
Vividia Wireless Waterproof Flexible Inspection Camera Borescope Endoscope for iPhone/iPad/iPod Touch: