Taking Your Guns at the Hotel California

This post was made possible by JTF Awesome member, 88 Tactical. The opinions expressed below are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the views of 88 Tactical or any member of JTF Awesome. We have to put that last line in there. Because Reasons. Anyway, today let’s talk guns in California. -Madduo


Taking Your Guns at the Hotel California

Jeff Edwards

Mirrors on the ceiling, pink champagne on ice. And she said, “We are all just prisoners here, of our own device.” And in the master’s chambers, they gathered for the feast. They stab it with their steely knives but they just can’t kill the beast.

Did you hear that, California? You can stab government with your steely knives all you want, but since you have disarmed yourself by your own device you will not kill the beast.

I realize I’m likely talking to avid supporters of the 2nd Amendment here, and if you happen to live in California believe me when I say the entire community stands with you. Granted we stand with you from across the street like you’re our favorite cousin with a bad case of leprosy. Because in the end, as Animal Mother famously quoted in Full Metal Jacket, “Better you than me.” But since it’s entirely plausible some gun grabbing hippies saw the title of this article and got excited because they wanted to book a stay at the hotel which confiscates guns, let me talk to you all as a State. Because the rest of nation ought to really thank you, and I think you’ll see what I mean.

Absolutely Just the Worst

Without a doubt, the notion that you must apply for the right to purchase ammunition and register it with the Government is absolutely just the worst. Terrible, just terrible. It’s like telling a citizen who wants to vote he must apply for the right to use words. It’s like telling a citizen who wants to speak freely he must apply for the right to make sound. It’s like telling homosexuals they have the right to be gay, but you must first apply for a special permit to bump homogenous uglies together. Every citizen, be they pro or anti-gun, knows exactly what this means: a backdoor attempt to eliminate firearms in the State of California, but I have to tell you California, the rest of the 49 states ought to be thanking you for this.

With the stroke of a pen, everyone who invested money in a thirty-round magazine at any point in their lives has become a criminal. The State of California has just said if you don’t destroy it or turn it in then ye who were previously known as citizens will be henceforth known as evildoers. Were you not to do so, the nation with unprecedented illegal immigration, drugs, and crime will spend law enforcement resources to come get you. The other 49 States thank you California for criminalizing so many of your citizens.

If you are firing on a range in the State of California and an individual walks up to you and says, “Cool gun bro, care if I give it a shot?” Sadly, law abiding citizens must now first ask, “Are you a cop? You’re a cop aren’t you? You know you have to tell me if you’re a cop.” The individual will then say something like, “Do I look like a cop, bro?” He then hands his gun to the stranger and the blue lights flash. Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Granted that might be an oversimplification of the new law, which says you can no longer loan guns to others to shoot, but again, thank you California. Way to take one for the team.

And You Wonder Why…

Truthfully, there are gun laws on the books right now that would help if implemented and as a result, most gun enthusiasts don’t believe there honestly should be no gun regulation whatsoever. Despite what internet keyboard warriors say, the average gun owner doesn’t have a problem with it all at face value. But thanks to states like California, we have a problem with it all. Like the canary pigeon in the mineshaft of 2A freedom, when we see what is happening to our brothers in another state as “common sense” gun laws are implemented, is it really that surprising if we back away from the table? If you were an altar boy getting ready to head in for confession with the priest and the last one just walked out holding his bunghole, would anyone really fault us for backing up and cancelling?


And you wonder why proponents of the 2nd Amendment have such conflict with gun laws and regulation of any sort. Thousands of my fellow citizens have been made criminals by their government. Thousands of my fellow citizens are being obligated to give up or destroy hundreds or thousands of dollars of private property. Thousands of my fellow citizens who had no intention of breaking the law are being forced to choose between abiding by the constitution and potentially ruining their lives, or complying and feeling like a slave to tyranny. May it never be! Thank you California for taking this one for the team, as I pray it wakes the rest of America up.

In Conclusion…

If you are a 2A-loving citizen of California, at this point you’re asking, “Just what the hell kind of a team is this? I give up my rights and you thank me?” Yes, I do. Because like it or not, the American population is in a PR war over guns and sadly, given the barbaric nature of evil men, it is one we might lose. The country must wake up to the fact that “common sense” is not about common sense at all. Those who say so are like the mine supervisor pointing at the dead canary and saying, “Don’t worry, he was old and had a heart problem anyway.”

Listen to me America: California is the future of “common sense” gun reform in America if we lose this battle. If we aren’t careful with our actions and our words, the last thing we’ll remember is running for the door. Trying to find a passage back to the way it was before. Relax said the nightman, we are program to receive. You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

Enter epic guitar solo.

I thank California because they have shown the rest of us our future. If we do not train to become professional and proficient with our weapons, that will be our future. If we do not learn how to speak to our fellow citizens who are skeptical about the 2nd Amendment with intelligence and respect, we’ll send them running in the other direction. The Canary is dead in one state and we all should take notice. Thank you politicians of California, for you might have tipped the progressive nation’s hand too soon. And to my beloved fellow gun owners of California, I say once again, better you than me.

But still though, thanks for taking one for the team.


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About the Author: Guest contributor Jeff Edwards is a former gyrene, an infantry veteran of Iraq and the HFMIC of Unprecedented Mediocrity. You’ve seen us post some of his UM work here occasionally — we liked his wit sufficiently to let him pontificate here on occasion. (Come to think of it, that actually might not be the greatest character reference, but it’s the truth.) Where’s the name Unprecedented Mediocrity come from? It’s founded at least part on Jeff’s personal philosophy that “…there is unprecedented joy in the state of simply being as opposed to constantly chasing an arbitrary standard that someone else likely made up.” Find him on Twitter at @jeffed0311, and never joke about getting dick pics. He’ll more than likely send some.


More About 88 Tactical: 88 Tactical is an elite training organization focused on helping individuals, families, emergency services workers, and military members develop the confidence and ability to deal with any situation or crisis. They have a Reality Behavior Based Conditioning that provides professionally developed curriculum for military, law enforcement, and civilian populations. Visit them online here

4 thoughts on “Taking Your Guns at the Hotel California

  • September 10, 2016 at 11:00 pm

    The solution is simple. Give the left what they want and “Make California Mexico Again”.

    That’ll learn ’em.

    Oh and while we’re at it, wall off that state and shoot anyone who tries to come into the actual US legally. Ya know, the Trump wall.

    Let Cali die and, like a corpse in a gibbet, let it be a warning to others.

  • September 10, 2016 at 7:38 pm

    Actually, most thinking gun owners do have a problem with most proposed regulation, because we know it’s letting the camel’s nose under the tent–or rather, it’s a form of Dane-geld, & you’ll never get rid of the Dane. We have too many regulations already, & most of them are either not enforced or not enforced equally.

    I don’t understand how California even still has any residents who aren’t sheep. I’d take a better-than-50% pay cut to escape such a place. Then again, I would never live in such a place. Hell, I don’t even go to the nearest big city unless it’s for work & I’m being paid to.

  • September 10, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    Some of us saw this coming and never registered a fuckin thing except the Ca approved handguns purchased here.

    • September 11, 2016 at 11:36 pm

      @MadeACriminalbyPelosi….Yup and those Ca approved handguns will be the next fucking thing they come after. Retirement=Relocation, and it’s getting closer!


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