Be Prepared for the Unexpected


In a recent piece by Gorillafritz (aka Greg Ellifritz), Eye Gouges vs. Finger Peels, we’re reminded we shouldn’t neglect to train with unusual weapons in scenarios where we might assume we’re safe.

The real life case Gorillafritz briefs us on involves Ray Miles, a then 49-year-old who attacked four in a TV station because they wouldn’t tell his story.

As detailed by Steve Fry for (The Topeka Capital-Journal):

Ray Miles was arrested in connection with aggravated assault, aggravated battery, aggravated burglary, aggravated criminal threat causing terror or evacuation, criminal damage and simple battery.

Ray Miles found a way into a locked room using a lamp in the waiting room. He then proceeded to unleash his anger, one against four, and was not quickly deterred. He used his teeth, fists and a knife to wound the employees in the TV station who were taking a cardiopulmonary resuscitation class. They were behind a locked door, but Miles got in anyway.

One of the victims put his finger in Miles’ eye and threatened to gouge it out. Undeterred, Miles raged on.

So sayeth Gorillafritz:

It serves as a cautionary lesson that no technique is foolproof and that nothing works all the time.  The eye gouge is a high percentage move.  I’ve seen it be a real fight stopper.  But you can’t rely on any one technique to work against every attacker.  You better have a backup plan.

In the end, a “simple grade-school finger bend” worked to take the attacker down.


Gorillafritz tells us to mix our preparedness training with scenarios like:

Dealing with an attacker in close quarters

• Dealing with unusual weapons (like teeth and a lamp, in this case)

• Dealing with an enraged attacker

• Dealing with an attacker alongside others who might have little to no previous training, and effectively utilizing teamwork

• Dealing with a surprise weapon once the altercation is already in full swing

You can read the article in full right here.

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Swingin' Dick

Richard "Swingin' Dick" Kilgore is half of the most storied celebrity action figure team in the world (and the half that doesn't prefer BBWs). He believes in American Exceptionalism, America, holding the door for any woman (lady or whore) and the idea that you should be held accountable for what comes out of your fucking mouth. Swingin' Dick has been a warrior gyrovague for many years now and is, apparently, impossible to kill -- he once had a complete body transplant after an IED hit the gun truck in which he was riding. True story, one of the Cav guys mailed his head and arm home. Swingin' Dick comes from a long line of soldiers and LEOs (his Great Uncle commanded an Air Cav battalion in Vietnam and his many times removed great grandfather was one of the few original Burt Mossman era Arizona Rangers). Swingin' Dick detests Joy Behar and Chris Matthews almost as much as he enjoys traveling the world to crush crime vice and evil. He believes the opportunity to lead eeeelight team of Breach Bang Clear minions is the most improbably awesome thing an action figure has ever done and he's immensely proud of his perfect hair. Loyalty and respect should start from the top down.

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2 thoughts on “Be Prepared for the Unexpected

  • November 19, 2016 at 4:00 pm

    Speaking solely as someone who has lost an eye, then a couple years later had surgery to eliminate an infection under my implant, there is no comparing any other injury to it. I’d gladly volunteer to have my balls squeezed and twisted, as long as my eye socket is left alone. Like the previous commenter stated, don’t threaten- do it! The immediate end of whatever situation your in is almost guaranteed, and if they don’t stop- they’ve probably got another eye!

  • November 19, 2016 at 3:50 pm

    Good article but I would stop short of saying that the eye gouge didn’t work. It would appear from the article that while it was threatened it was never actually executed.

    Popping someone’s eye out of their socket/sticking your thumb in their eye down to your metacarpophalangeal joint (your whole thumb buried in their eye socket) is a lot like grabbing someone by the balls and twisting while pulling. The threat might work against an angst filled teenager but it will not deter a serious attacker. You don’t threaten to do it, you DO it, assess the results and move on from there.

    It’s also probably wise to wash your hands afterwards. Carry some Wet Ones and Purell, you don’t know where that eye has been!


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