FNGF: BREACH-BANG-EGGNOG EDITION! (Die Hard 2: Die Harder)

annex skywalk
December 24, 2017  
|  3 Comments
Categories: Musings

No, it’s not Friday night, so this isn’t properly a Friday Night Gun Fight – but it was too obvious not to do it. So, you’re getting a Friday night gunfight on a Sunday night. Don’t forget – Die Hard’s sequel is a Christmas movie too! Mad Duo

Brought to tonite by ATEi – turning reg’lar ole guns into combat weapon systems.

FNGF: Die Hard 2: Die Harder

Breach-Bang-Eggnog Edition!!!

Richard Kilgore and Jake Call

Have you even tried bourbon and egg nog with a teaspoon of maple extract in it? We did. But we had to be sure we liked it. So we tried another. Now Swingin’ Dick is making 722 copies of his swingin’ appendage, Slim, Stafford, and Reeder are trying to push each other under the office mistletoe, and Tam (Keel) has had enough everyone being a dumbass. It’s gonna take us a bit to untangle this goat rope in time for New Years, so enjoy this holiday bonus edition of Friday Night Gunfights, with a film that needs no introduction. Welcome to the party, pal…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoVPZ_hb13M

What’s the only thing more badass than dying hard? Dying harder. Hence our decision to review a Christmas Eve contact front! from the second installment of everyone’s favorite Christmas movie franchise: Die Hard.

In this scene, terrorists have already seized Dulles International Airport and are holding an entire nation hostage by controlling all flights in and out of the nation’s capitol. The ever helpful airport technician, Barnes, is leading a black-clad, M16A1-equipped SWAT team through the Annex Skywalk in a last ditch effort to re-claim the air traffic control system. (We’re still not sure exactly what an annex skywalk is. Our Minions fly in and out of Dulles constantly. Nobody can find it, which sucks ‘cause the office pool is up to $100 now.)

Unbeknownst to our star-crossed SWAT officers, John McClaine is getting ready to fall from the air vents in a Christmas miracle brought to you by Beretta, and a whole lotta profanity.

THE GOOD

-Full auto M16A1s. While what is traditionally called “high port” is currently out of vogue (and ever in contention), it was a best known practice at the time to keep teams in close quarters from muzzling each other with those awesome 20 in. barrels.

-A young T1000 initiates the ambush with a killer headshot from his porcelain, X-ray proof Glock 7. (We’re hoping these models will become commercially available with Gen 6.)

-The bad guys stage a pretty clean ambush, with shooters to the front, fanned out and a guy on the scaffolding for suppressing fire from the high ground.

-McClaine’s unconventional use of the urban terrain allows him to maximize the effectiveness of the 360 degree battlefield and maintain the element of surprise.

-So many slap-tastic MP5 reloads.

-At 2:58, McClaine actually executes a pretty good emergency reload, including hitting the slide release with his trigger finger because he’s a lefty.

THE BAD

-Using the moving walkway. In bad weather, and against opponents who already control major sections of the airport electrical system, this was just poor choice. Also, channelizing terrain anyone?

-All those MP5Ks and not one sling or folding stock.

-Somersaults and lateral combat rolls do not constitute proper bounding technique.

-At 3:15, if you’re going to use scaffolding as a firing position, make sure it’s anchored.

THE UGLY

-Dropping 20’ from an air duct with leather-soled shoes.

-That sweet finger-over-the-front-of-the-trigger-guard “combat” shooting grip.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

ATEi is a member of JTF Awesome. Find ’em on Facebook, /ATEiguns/, or follow ’em on Instagram, @ateiguns.

Brought to you guys today by ATEi – get Dougified!



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Mad Duo

Mad Duo

About the Author

The Mad Duo are the most renowned, scholarly, door-kickingest action figures since...well, ever. They, their wretched minions and other abject flunkies are an improbable (and awesome) tale unto themselves. Read more about them here.

3 Comments

  1. Kurt Buchanan

    When we gonna see more Friday Night Gunfights? These are wicked…

    Reply
  2. Matt

    An annex skywalk would be the (sky) bridge that connects a main building to its side building, sometimes known as an annex. Sorry this is late. Can I get a slice of that office pool?

    Reply
  3. Keith Dorset

    Believe me, I have lived near Dulles all my life. Snow mobiles in Virginia are the funniest thing around. Lots of crap I’ve never seen in the neighborhood. Still, because it’s supposed to be home, It’s my favorite of the DH series.

    Reply

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